What if I told you that getting unstuck is a choice you could make?
Would you believe me?
If you’re like me, those questions may give you pause.
Intellectually, you may understand that stuckness is a choice.
It's the same as procrastinating, avoiding, and spinning in confusion.
We usually “choose” to stay stuck because it’s comfortable. Easier. Safer.
Even though it often means settling for exactly what we don’t want.
It’s remarkable how well we can get by in our stuckness.
Just tolerating and making excuses to stay right where we are.
Sometimes, we train ourselves to believe we’re out of options.
And change will be impossible.
We forget we have a choice because we get good at arguing to keep things exactly as they are, even if we’re miserable, and then we believe that this is now how things will always be.
This is exactly what happened to my client, Emily.
A few years ago, she paused her career to turn her full attention to her daughter, who was struggling with some mental health challenges.
Emily was 100% committed to this decision and poured her heart, mind, and energy into everything needed to help her daughter heal.
Which her daughter did, thankfully.
With her mom’s and other’s support, Emily’s daughter started thriving in her social relationships, school, and sports again.
That was about eighteen months ago.
Fortunately, today, Emily’s beautiful daughter is still doing extraordinarily well.
Emily, on the other hand, was not.
When she came to me for coaching a few weeks ago, she had already completed some profound healing work with a therapist.
When we first spoke, she described being ready to return to work and redirect some of her attention back to herself.
Her daughter's transformation had inspired her.
She wanted some of that same energy, momentum, and excitement in her life.
Her face lit up when she talked about this.
And yet, she said she was stuck.
She talked about feeling like she has been standing still for months, planning to start figuring out the work thing, and then never actually making any progress.
The more she shared about her inability to move forward, the more excuses she offered about why.
Everything felt hard, and there was so much to do, and it might not work out anyway.
Her expression and body language changed.
Without realizing it, she was making a pretty compelling case to forgo the job search, stay home, and just make the best of it.
She had gotten really good at talking herself out of what she most wanted. I mean, really good.
This was a classic example of how easily our fearful, like-to-keep-everything easy and safe minds will buy into our excuses.
Sound familiar?
I’ve seen myself in Emily so many times. SO MANY TIMES!
I told her that and shared that being stuck was a choice.
I knew she didn’t understand at first, so I explained more.
Your brain is exceptionally gifted at keeping the status quo. It understands this life you’ve created.
It doesn’t care much about your happiness, instead it cares more about routine, familiarity, and the security of what’s known.
Change, excitement, and a new job all feel like a big threat to your brain, even though that’s what you most want.
Being stuck is choosing to give into your brain’s needs over yours.
She got it.
Getting unstuck is a choice she could make IF she wants to.
She, not her brain, gets to be in charge of this decision and what comes next - staying stuck or moving forward.
Not surprisingly, she chose herself.
Now, the fun work begins.
How can you stop staying stuck this week?
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
P.S. Our free Community Coaching call is tomorrow, Tuesday, July 30th, at 1 pm ET.
(convert to your time zone here)
Use the Zoom link below to join the call and raise your virtual hand for coaching.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86737981128?pwd=RHRPbEFLNWJDQlMwSm5Va1JpMWVFZz09
Meeting ID: 867 3798 1128
Passcode: Coaching
This really resonates with me. I have told myself so many times in the past that I am stuck and I say it today. I have so much evidence for the lack of progress I am making. I want to consistently work on my business, but one thing or another seems to get in the way. I have the thought that if I could just make it a habit, 30 minutes a day, that will be what gets me unstuck. It seems so simple but so far, I'm not able to make it happen... yet.
I am grateful for the fact that no matter how stuck I feel or the lack of progress I seem to be making, giving up is just not an option in my brain. I will persevere.
Yes! Love that you see that you are believing that if you made progress, then you would feel unstuck. Funny that we think it works this way. 😅
And what would it be like to say…
“I’m getting unstuck”
“I’ve decided that I’m not stuck anymore”
“I’m moving forward”
To show your brain that sickness isn’t a choice you’re making going forward.
What do you think?